How'd I'd sleep last night? I rested just fine but I honestly don't know if I actually feel asleep. I'm one of those sleepers who takes over the bed when I sleep. We have a king size bed and my husband sleeps on one small end and I pretty much toss and turn, spread myself out as I wish, so you probably get the picture oh and one last detail I don't sleep on my back. I sleep mainly on my stomach so, to have pillows up in the bed for my foot and for me to sleep on my back really didn't work for me. I tried to be creative with different twists and turns but nothing really worked. Also, I'm a human alarm clock, so I had set my alarm for 2:15 to make sure I'd remember to get up and take my pill. Well, needless to say I did not need an alarm clock. So I'm not sure how this sleeping issue is going to get better while I'm wearing this shoe thing to bed. But the GOOD news is I had no increased pain in my foot, yet I think that's because of the pain pills.
What I feel is I'd like to unwrap this bandage and let my foot breathe. I feel the throbbing that is normal, but really this I only feel as I get closer to taking my next pill. I'd also like to take a long knitting needle and shove it down my big toe dressing and scratch the hell out of my foot, yet realize this would not be a good thing either and keep trying to tell myself to enjoy the itchy sensation because it's gotta be my bone healing and working to come back together, right (UGH). So if I had to describe what I feel is itchiness and mainly my foot feels like it's asleep. I can move my toe if I want and then I do feel tightness, yet I'm trying not to move my toe or foot since the sheet I got from my doctor says "DO NOT MOVE YOUR TOES OR FOOT". Also, the back of my heal feels like it's getting a little blister or something just from my heal sitting in the heal cup and the moving around it does. I just feel like someone is squeezing my foot very tightly.
My husband is still trying to convince me not to take these pain pills if I don't feel pain and just laughs at me when I say "but I don't want to feel pain". So today instead of 4 hours apart between the pills I am going to try to go for 5 hours and then MAYBE 6 hours. He keeps telling me that the pills are addictive and I get that, but honestly I've only been addictive to exercise in my life and I keep telling him it's not like I feel anything different. I just don't feel pain. Then he laughs when I say "I'm not going to get addictive to these pills" and in the next sentence I say "where are my pills my four hours are almost up and I can start to feeling throbbing". He keeps saying feeling some pain is good too. Maybe he should try and get his toe cut off and then reattached with pins and see how open minded he'd be to feeling the pain. (Smile - I say that with love).
Something interesting did happen to me this a.m.. Okay, Steve has been religious about on the hour every hour having me ice my foot which is nice, yet some times it feels like that first night after one gives birth and a nurse is in poking at you every hour and it usually happens right when you just fall asleep. But anyway... of course around 6:00 a.m. is when my body decides it wants to SLEEP and then at 7:00, 8:00, 9:00, and 10:00 Steve comes in to ice my foot. Well on his last shift he came in and he said "Maybe you should go out to the couch or do something different" and I said "let me first get dressed, but I think I need to eat something", so I get my crutches and walk into my closet naked (sorry I like to sleep nude) and Steve left the room and all of sudden I felt like either I was going to throw up or shit right there in the closet and all I could do was lay down on the floor. And then I start saying "Steve somethings not right" and of course he doesn't respond right away. And I honestly laid there thinking WTF is going on because I really didn't know what end was going to explode. Well, finally Steve made his way back in the room and said "What are you doing? Did you fall? And I said "No, I just got really sick. Go get me a bowl. I can't move" and then the sweats started to come on and I started sweating up a storm and I was just watching my wrists and forearms as sweat drops came to the surface and I could feel my whole body get this way from head to toe. Steve for some reason said "breathe" and then I took deep breathes and within minutes I felt better and crawled back to bed on my knees and got in. Steve put ice on my foot and got me some veggie juice and I've been fine since. And then he said "maybe you should just stay in bed". And then he had to add in that one of the side effects to the drugs I'm taking is dizziness, nausea, vomiting, light headedness, etc... Anyway. I wasn't expecting that all to happen at once, but now I lived through it and all feels okay. And you'll be happy to know I'm at my 4 1/2 hour mark and I have not yet taken another pill.
Other fun news is my 6 year old is just so sweet. He is Mr. helper. One thing he likes to do is when I get up and he sees I am on my crutches he thinks he is helping me by carrying my bad foot. I don't have the heart to tell him he is not making things easier by making me jump on one foot to get to where I need to go. It's adorable and he keeps giving me big bear hugs. My 8 year old is in his own little world because today is his birthday, so it's all about presents, etc.. he came to my bed at 5:30 this a.m. to say "mom, I'm eight. Can I show you some of my new pokemon cards". He has been sweet too, but just been distracted and excited due to his b-day. And of course both boys wanted me to take off my bandage and dressing so they could see the cut/scar that I have in my foot. My dog Allie has found her way back into the bed which is fine. I just laugh at how that dog finds her way to communicate her needs and doesn't stop until she gets what she wants. Maybe that's an owner's issue (smile).
I did end up checking work email via my iPhone because I left my laptop downstairs and all is in control on that end, so I'm feeling good with that and I'd think by Monday I will have more energy to put in some time, yet I will bring everything upstairs. My house was built in the 80's so I have a few up and down steps between rooms and let me tell you it's a pain. And I have ONE good foot. I honestly don't know how all of you do it with two bad feet. I couldn't image having both feet wrapped. So bless you that get both feet down at once. I only had one bad bunion thank god.
Well I think that might be it regarding my update 24 hours since I've been home. Pray I don't have anymore dizzy spells. Steve did just have to leave me for an hour or so to go meet the kids at school for their holiday luncheon and I just said I'd call him if something came up. Also, not sure if the mirelax is doing it's job. Lord knows I ate enough fiber yesterday too and so far today nothing has come out and that's why when I was in the closet I thought you gotta be f---- kidding me and then I thought .... oh well if I'm going to explode on both ends then Steve will just have to clean it up. (smile - Just Kidding).
Okay I do have to mention Steve really has been wonderful yet this whole experience has taught me I just gotta let go. I will admit I'm afraid to go look in the kitchen and on our island. I am sure it's covered with the kids school papers and everything else. This a.m. when I heard him getting the kids ready all I could do was breathe and just tune everything out. Needless to say I'm an organize freak and I don't like to see clutter and even yesterday when I made my way out to the kitchen for dinner I just couldn't even look around. Yet, the kids are happy, Steve is happy, and he is helping me out so much and putting up with my "Steve...." commands. But you have no idea how many times I've heard "oh, yeah I'll do that' after I say "Steve, did you remember to order Riley's b-day cookies" Or "Steve, Allie needs to go out one last time and you need to go make sure the lights are out and garage doors are down". AND I've kept a lot of my reminders to myself so I don't take him over the edge (smile).
I have to pull out my Eckart Tolle "New Earth" book and clear my mind. Even though I was quiet proud of myself last night how I allowed myself to just rest versus get pissed that I wasn't falling asleep. I'm sure I did sleep somewhat but honestly I'd be surprised if it was more than 2 hours and now I'm afraid I'll sleep during the day and then again be up at night. But right now I feel like if my body will sleep then I'm letting it sleep.
Okay - I think I rambled enough for one day and it's only 11:15. And now I'm at the 5 hour mark for my pain pill.... what to do what to do... take it or wait another 30 minutes. I actually think I will wait. I have to get up to pee and put this ice in the freezer and then maybe I'll take it and hope I get in a little nap.
Alright I apologize if I write too much or mention too much personal information. I'm an open book sort of a person. Hope you have a great day and I'll keep you posted if I end up naked on the floor again. Maybe I'll go attempt to get dressed again since it's only 11:30 AM. I do gotta admit part of me thinks it's good to just allow myself to rest and lay around. I'm a strong type A person and I truly am usually on the go or don't take enough time to just sit down and relax. Here is the other funny thing. About 5 months ago I decided it was silly for us to pay for direct tv, so I got rid of all of our tv channels. We still use netflicks and have wii that we use through the t.v. but no actual t.v. channels, so it's not like I can go channel surfing and occupy my time that way. So if you know of any good movies let me know. Okay now I really am going to go.... otherwise soon I'll be writing..... I made it to my 6 hour mark : ) which really is only 45 minutes away and all still feels the same. Why is Steve always right (smile).
PS: for my friends out there that are reading this thanks for all your emails yesterday and today. You are all very sweet.
Take care and be well,
Julie
Julie, your blog cracks me up! I think we could be good friends! :)
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about the crappy night's sleep. I slept on the sectional by myself the first several nights. I put a pillow under one leg and was able to sleep on my side pretty good. I could also sleep on my stomach with both legs on the pillow and the front of my feet/boots over the edge.
Not sure if you are now weaned off the pain pills, but I took them two full days and was never addicted or had any adverse reaction when I stopped taking them. However, just spreading out the distance between them is probably a good test to make sure you aren't in pain and can handle it.
The whole icing thing cracks me up. In only iced like 3 times a day - morning after work out, after lunch and after supper.
I know what that whole closet "episode" was. You were about to pass out. You likely got out of bed too fast and your heart rate was racing. Not sure if you were hydrated and possibly too warm immediately prior, but that would make it worse. I've had many issues like this in the past. I actually passed out in the shower one morning, getting out of bed and into the shower too quickly. Get out of bed a lot slower and rest on the end before getting up next time. Make sure you are staying very hydrated also.
Sounds like you will be in great hands this weekend with help from the kids and your hubby! Hope you sleep better tonight!
Good advice and you are right that is what I felt like... I was passing out and who knows if I actually did and that's when Steve found me (smile). Gosh, were you alone when you passed out in the shower? Talk with you soon. Julie
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